Saying Goodbye to Kacey

"The poor shall eat and be satisfied… All the ends of the world shall remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations shall worship before You.  For the kingdom is the Lord's, and He rules over the nations."  Psalm 22:26-28

It is Friday morning, as usual, a beautiful, peaceful Ugandan day.  Morning tea tasted extra special today as I looked out the door across the amazing beauty of the landscape in Buwatte, Uganda. I sit here pondering my return home in two weeks.  In two weeks I will be boarding the airplane once again with my suitcases full all of my belongings, which now consist of many African items.  I'm excited for my return, to see my children, my family, my friends and to personally thank all of you who have given so much to this mission God designed for me.  I also think of leaving my African home, the sadness it brings to my heart, the looks on the many peoples faces when I told them I'm leaving and them asking me "When will you return?" Especially my sweet daughters I live with and whom have stolen my heart, my love.  I believe this is not a goodbye to my Ugandan family but a new beginning.  A beginning of living my life through different eyes.  Seeing life through God's eyes, a life of humility.  You see I have learned that life is not about what you have but what you can give.  I have learned that I am the living expression of God's kindness and I should share that with all who God places before me.  I will be saying goodbye to my family here but I know in my heart that I will return.  Jesus also said, "The Kingdom of God is like a farmer who scatters seed on the ground.  Night and day, while he's asleep or awake, the seed sprouts and grows, but he does not understand how it happens."  Mark 4:26-27  There is still much seed to be scattered here.

Goodbyes are never easy.  But a goodbye to someone who has touched my heart as Kacey has is even more difficult.  Today was the day I had to tell this sweet, precious little girl that I would be leaving to go home.  To a home she may never know or see although I would love for her to know it one day.  We walked up the familiar hill to the village where Kacey and her family live.  As we walked I knew that I would be saying goodbye but in my heart I knew that it would not be forever.  The question was will Kacey understand this?  We arrived at Kacey's house to see her mother cooking outside, her father at home and Kacey, her little sister and her brother outside playing with other village children.  They looked like a family, something I had yet to see.  A smile crossed Kacey's face when she saw us.    A smile that had just newly formed but I knew it was always inside of her.  I even witnessed a smile on her mother's face.  An inviting smile and happiness I had not experienced from her mother until now.  I could tell in her mother's face, her actions, her voice that a transformation had taken place.  Once again a miracle performed all due to the sharing of God's love.

    As we sat and talked with Kacey's mother she explained to us how much they had missed us and how they were looking forward to our return.  She smiled, laughed and spoke as friends would, friends who dearly cared for each other.  She finally understood and knew how much we cared for not only her stepdaughter Kacey but also for her and the rest of her family.  "Has she ever felt this kind of love?"  I thought as I sat and tried to understand the words she was saying in her language.  I wasn't able to understand all of what she had said but the expression on her face and the happiness in her voice was enough for me.

As we sat and talked more village children gathered.  They laughed, played, and craved the attention we had come to offer.   Kacey is the one who God placed in my heart but I truly love all of the children I have grown to know in the village.  They all have their own special needs, but above all a need to share in the love of our Father.

We watched as the village children played and joined in at times.  They loved getting their pictures taken and most of all being able to see their picture and how they look.  They live this life of poverty.  Many of these children may never experience school, maybe not even Kacey, because of the expense.  This is an injustice in my eyes.  I believe all these precious children should have a chance of a life full of education, full of opportunity.  My mission this time proved to be to share the love of God with all the children God placed before me and my passion is to make a way for them to have a fair chance at life, an education, a chance for a successful life.  God will make a way.  He will show me my next step, purpose, journey to make this happen.  This is how I know that my work, mission, is not finished.  Now is the time to prepare, to gain wisdom and insight and to have faith that God has designed a perfect plan and will place people in my life that can help direct me on how this can be accomplished.

Our time came to an end with Kacey, her family and her friends.  We explained to her mother we were leaving, I was leaving. That I would be heading back to my home in America. This was very difficult to explain to a family that had such a special place in my heart.  Sadness crossed Kacey's mothers face.  She said "I will miss you!"  I wanted her to know how much I would miss her too so I hugged her and kissed her cheek.  I told her she will be forever in my thoughts and prayers.  She smiled.  I know she felt the love God wanted her to experience through me.  We then explained to Kacey we had to leave.  She stood there with a look of disbelief, then tears welled up in her eyes.  Tears streamed down my face as I felt the sadness I saw on Kacey's face.  I hugged her as if I didn't want to let go.  I whispered "I love you" and kissed her cheek.  I didn't want to let go of this little girl who touched my heart.  She is part of me, my daughter.  As we walked away I continued to look back to make sure Kacey was alright.  She just stood in the same place, wearing her pretty new pink jumpsuit, tears falling from her face.  As I stood waving goodbye I thought, "This little girl will not be forgotten.  I will be back.  I will hug her and kiss her once again but next time I will be equipped and prepared to bless Kacey and so many other children with so much more!"  God does not demand that I be successful.  God demands that I be faithful.  When facing God, results are not important.  Faithfulness is what is important.

“I am the vessel.  The draft is God’s.  And God is the thirsty one.”  Dag Hammarskjold

Beautiful Daughters

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Phillipians 4:8

It's not yet light out as I lay in my bed, soothed by the sound of gentle raindrops outside my window. This is a quiet time for me, a peaceful time of wondering what God will be teaching me today and what He will be putting before me.  Everyday is a well thought out plan of His and I am a servant that follows His still small voice and fully enjoys the love that surrounds me.  The usual morning run was cancelled today due to the relaxing rain our Lord sent us giving me a little more time to enjoy the peaceful quietness of my Fathers presence.  As I lay thinking about my day, excited about what it will bring, thoughts of the beautiful daughters I have adopted cross my mind.  The days I spend with them full of joy, peace, song, dance and praising our precious Heavenly Father.  You see the girls I live with were rescued from living on the streets, in the slum.  A life of desperation, poverty, and fear.  A place where they had to fight to find food, to even exist.  The Lord led them to us and now they live in a place designed by God, a place of peace, joy and love.

The most amazing part of each of their stories and mine is the divine transformation that I have been able to experience in each of them.  When they came here most of them didn't know God or didn't want to.  With each day in our home bringing a gentle nudging of His love, a teaching from God's word and a continuous showing of God's grace I have seen total transformations in each of them.  I listen to them daily sing songs of praise to our Lord with happiness in their hearts.  They love their life now.  They are anxious to see what each new day brings and are looking forward to what the future holds for them.  A future full of opportunity and success.  This is all due to God choosing each one of them to be part of this beautiful organization.  We have told our girls that they were each "hand picked" by God to be here.  That was God's plan.  How special do they feel realizing how much God loves them by bringing them here.

I see an aura of confidence, honesty and humility shining the light of Jesus through our girls.  They radiate the fragrance of Jesus in their smile, their laughs, their songs and their voices.  Young ladies with a self motivated drive to spread the love of Jesus and accomplish all of their dreams.  They share with others their stories and how their lives have been transformed to help others who may be in need, who may be straying down that exact same road they were living, to encourage those who are walking out a life God has designed for them.  They are God's vessels, His hands and feet and His blessing.

Thank you so much for your donations.  The donations sent have helped each of these precious girls.  They are able to receive medical care and dental care thanks to you.  Your donations have helped with food and transportation expenses and some time for fun.  I thank those of you who have donated clothing and shoes which are much needed for each girl.  I most of all thank you for the prayers and taking time to be interested in what God is doing here in Uganda.  God is performing an amazing miracle in all of the girls.  I am anxious to see what God has planned and designed as their lives continue to unfold.

Kacey

Village Children

"Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed.  Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's Law."  Galatians 6:2 

I saw her walking with her friends from across the soccer field. The girl with big brown eyes, in the torn, ragged skirt, with a dirty, filthy shirt two sizes too big.  A little girl with a somber face, sad eyes, a thin body.  I was drawn to her, to who she was, to a little girl I didn't even know.  I had an urge inside my spirit to go over to her, say hi and give her a hug.  A hug she needed, a hug she had never experienced, something I was unaware of at that point but would quickly learn.  So I took a break from soccer and walked over to the village children who were watching us, all the beautiful children, the beautiful little girl with big brown eyes.  I touched each of their hands and said "Hi" asking them their names.  They each, in their own unique way, answered me, giggling because my skin is white, excited that I was actually interested in them.  Happiness in their hearts, on their faces unaware of their circumstances.  Then I came to the little girl with the sad eyes, the one I was drawn to.  I asked her name, she whispered back looking at the ground.  I asked her again and I faintly heard the name Kacey.  A name I knew well, a name that sounded much like my daughters whom I love so very much.  I then realized this little girl is different than the others.  She didn't giggle, she didn't smile, she was not excited that a white person was talking to her, she was sad. Something inside me drew me to her.  Now I know why.

Kacey

The next week we went to the soccer field I waited with much anticipation hoping Kacey would come to watch.  I tried my best to play but was distracted looking for her.  The game was over. Still no Kacey.  Then I saw her from the distance, with two other children, walking towards the field.  I recognized her well, same rags she wore last week, same sad somber eyes, same beautiful face.  I approached her and gave a hug to a limp body that did not hug back.  I spoke to her, she just looked at me, no smile, no emotion, a sad face.  I hugged her again and it was then I noticed the sores on her legs and arms.  Large round sores that appeared to be infected.  I asked Kacey what happened.  She didn't answer, she didn't know.  It was then I knew that God had placed Kacey before me, gave me the feeling in my heart to help her, to love her.  To do all I can to help her understand love, what it is and how it feels to be loved.  You see, Kacey doesn't know this because she hasn't experienced love as God wants.  She lives a neglected life with her father and stepmother.  She is expected, at 3 years old, to find her own food, bath herself, and daily take care of herself.  At that moment I knew I needed to take her home, bath her, put medicine on her sores and love her.  I searched for her father to ask permission.  He was more than happy to let Kacey go with a mzungu.  We started on our journey home, Kacey riding on my back, the girls that live in the compound with me explaining to her in her own language where we were going.  She wasn't scared, in fact she was happy the girls said, although I did not see happiness on her face.  When we arrived home I fed her, bathed her, gave her a new dress and loved her.  We all showed her love by talking to her, playing with her, holding her, telling her Bible stories and of course hugging her.  She experienced the love of God and will soon know exactly what it is to be loved.  I will make sure of that, I decided.  I will visit her every week, love her.  We walked her home with her new clothes, her clean body and her new experience of love.  I gave her stepmother medication to put on the sores and we hugged and kissed Kacey goodbye.  A sad face that didn't want us to go.

We know only too well that what we are doing is nothing more than a drop in the ocean.  But if the drop were not there, the ocean would be missing something.  

Mother Teresa

Sores we found on Kacey's body

The next week I was so excited to visit Kacey, hoping the sores on her body were healed and hoping to find a happy face.   I went to visit Kacey on Wednesday but my heart fell very sad when I found her very sick.  She was running a high fever and the sores on her body were even worse.  The stepmother hadn't put the medication on her sores and was not interested in taking her to the doctor.  I spoke with the father and offered to pay for the doctor visit if he would take her.  He refused saying he was too busy.  That spoke loudly to me.  It was in my hands, I needed to get her to the doctor.  The father gave me permission to take her.  I gave money to Auntie Millie, our wonderful house mother who lives with us.  She took Kacey to the doctor.  We decided it best that a Ugandan take her due to comfort and raising of prices when a mzungu is involved.  I waited patiently for Auntie Millie to return. Upon return Auntie Millie explained that Kacey had a bacterial infection and the doctor prescribed medication to help her.  I wanted to keep her, nurse her back to health, love her but I knew I must take her home.  We took her home, gave her stepmother the prognosis and the medication.  We all said a prayer for Kacey and bid our farewells.  She is in God's hands now.  I trust He will heal her and protect her.

The honorary duty of a human being is to love.

If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.

My relationship with Kacey continues.  I visit her every week sometimes more and share His love with her.  We bring her to our home when we can to help her understand the feeling of a family and to experience love from many people.  Two weeks ago she came to our home for a birthday celebration.  She danced, played, ate chocolate cake and actually smiled and giggled as a normal 3 year old girl.  She is now learning how to receive a hug and return the hug in her own way.  Her face lights up with joy now when she sees me.  I know God is at work and will continue to work in Kacey's life.  Kacey's stepmother is also starting to be receptive and friendly to us.  I believe God is working in her as well and will teach her how to love Kacey properly.  That is my goal, to help the whole family understand God's love and how to share it with each other and others.  I know God will transform them all to that understanding!  Kacey attends church every Sunday now with the girls I live with.  They look forward to picking her up every Sunday and taking her with them.  One day I know the stepmother and father will accept our invitation to join us.  I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.  As long as God continues to put children before me I will continue to be kind and merciful.  I will let no one ever come to me without coming away better and happier.  I want to be the living expression of God's kindness, His fragrance, His love.

Mother Teresa put it best when she said, “The world today is hungry not only for bread but hungry for love; hungry to be wanted, to be loved.  They’re hungry to feel that presence of Christ.  In many countries, people have everything except that presence, that understanding.  That’s why the life of prayer and sacrifice comes to give that love.  By being contemplative, you are to be that presence, that bread of God to break.”