Saying Goodbye to Kacey

"The poor shall eat and be satisfied… All the ends of the world shall remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations shall worship before You.  For the kingdom is the Lord's, and He rules over the nations."  Psalm 22:26-28

It is Friday morning, as usual, a beautiful, peaceful Ugandan day.  Morning tea tasted extra special today as I looked out the door across the amazing beauty of the landscape in Buwatte, Uganda. I sit here pondering my return home in two weeks.  In two weeks I will be boarding the airplane once again with my suitcases full all of my belongings, which now consist of many African items.  I'm excited for my return, to see my children, my family, my friends and to personally thank all of you who have given so much to this mission God designed for me.  I also think of leaving my African home, the sadness it brings to my heart, the looks on the many peoples faces when I told them I'm leaving and them asking me "When will you return?" Especially my sweet daughters I live with and whom have stolen my heart, my love.  I believe this is not a goodbye to my Ugandan family but a new beginning.  A beginning of living my life through different eyes.  Seeing life through God's eyes, a life of humility.  You see I have learned that life is not about what you have but what you can give.  I have learned that I am the living expression of God's kindness and I should share that with all who God places before me.  I will be saying goodbye to my family here but I know in my heart that I will return.  Jesus also said, "The Kingdom of God is like a farmer who scatters seed on the ground.  Night and day, while he's asleep or awake, the seed sprouts and grows, but he does not understand how it happens."  Mark 4:26-27  There is still much seed to be scattered here.

Goodbyes are never easy.  But a goodbye to someone who has touched my heart as Kacey has is even more difficult.  Today was the day I had to tell this sweet, precious little girl that I would be leaving to go home.  To a home she may never know or see although I would love for her to know it one day.  We walked up the familiar hill to the village where Kacey and her family live.  As we walked I knew that I would be saying goodbye but in my heart I knew that it would not be forever.  The question was will Kacey understand this?  We arrived at Kacey's house to see her mother cooking outside, her father at home and Kacey, her little sister and her brother outside playing with other village children.  They looked like a family, something I had yet to see.  A smile crossed Kacey's face when she saw us.    A smile that had just newly formed but I knew it was always inside of her.  I even witnessed a smile on her mother's face.  An inviting smile and happiness I had not experienced from her mother until now.  I could tell in her mother's face, her actions, her voice that a transformation had taken place.  Once again a miracle performed all due to the sharing of God's love.

    As we sat and talked with Kacey's mother she explained to us how much they had missed us and how they were looking forward to our return.  She smiled, laughed and spoke as friends would, friends who dearly cared for each other.  She finally understood and knew how much we cared for not only her stepdaughter Kacey but also for her and the rest of her family.  "Has she ever felt this kind of love?"  I thought as I sat and tried to understand the words she was saying in her language.  I wasn't able to understand all of what she had said but the expression on her face and the happiness in her voice was enough for me.

As we sat and talked more village children gathered.  They laughed, played, and craved the attention we had come to offer.   Kacey is the one who God placed in my heart but I truly love all of the children I have grown to know in the village.  They all have their own special needs, but above all a need to share in the love of our Father.

We watched as the village children played and joined in at times.  They loved getting their pictures taken and most of all being able to see their picture and how they look.  They live this life of poverty.  Many of these children may never experience school, maybe not even Kacey, because of the expense.  This is an injustice in my eyes.  I believe all these precious children should have a chance of a life full of education, full of opportunity.  My mission this time proved to be to share the love of God with all the children God placed before me and my passion is to make a way for them to have a fair chance at life, an education, a chance for a successful life.  God will make a way.  He will show me my next step, purpose, journey to make this happen.  This is how I know that my work, mission, is not finished.  Now is the time to prepare, to gain wisdom and insight and to have faith that God has designed a perfect plan and will place people in my life that can help direct me on how this can be accomplished.

Our time came to an end with Kacey, her family and her friends.  We explained to her mother we were leaving, I was leaving. That I would be heading back to my home in America. This was very difficult to explain to a family that had such a special place in my heart.  Sadness crossed Kacey's mothers face.  She said "I will miss you!"  I wanted her to know how much I would miss her too so I hugged her and kissed her cheek.  I told her she will be forever in my thoughts and prayers.  She smiled.  I know she felt the love God wanted her to experience through me.  We then explained to Kacey we had to leave.  She stood there with a look of disbelief, then tears welled up in her eyes.  Tears streamed down my face as I felt the sadness I saw on Kacey's face.  I hugged her as if I didn't want to let go.  I whispered "I love you" and kissed her cheek.  I didn't want to let go of this little girl who touched my heart.  She is part of me, my daughter.  As we walked away I continued to look back to make sure Kacey was alright.  She just stood in the same place, wearing her pretty new pink jumpsuit, tears falling from her face.  As I stood waving goodbye I thought, "This little girl will not be forgotten.  I will be back.  I will hug her and kiss her once again but next time I will be equipped and prepared to bless Kacey and so many other children with so much more!"  God does not demand that I be successful.  God demands that I be faithful.  When facing God, results are not important.  Faithfulness is what is important.

“I am the vessel.  The draft is God’s.  And God is the thirsty one.”  Dag Hammarskjold